Posting this more as a reminder to myself as we enter this new year. Hope you find this useful too!
Don’t worry about what others think of you
First of all, if they are strangers, they are not even looking at you, thinking about you, judging you, or any such thing. I constantly tell myself, ‘It’s just in your head Abhi!’. More likely than not, they are worried about their own checklists and are going about their life trying to manage their own complex thoughts!
Second, you can’t change or control what others think. You can’t read their mind but even magically if you could, or if they say something that makes you feel that they are judging you, I ask myself ‘Can I change their thoughts?’ ‘No!’. ‘Is it worth trying?’ ‘No!’. ‘Would this matter tomorrow? Next month? Next year?’ ‘No!’. ‘Would they remember?’ ‘No!’. No one cares. ‘Would it have been worth trying that one time when that stranger said something rude at the airport on Oct 23rd, 2018?’ ‘No!’.
Third, if they are someone you care about, then I try to listen to their input, but it’s just that: input. It’s not a command or a judgment or a decision. In Hindi there is a saying, ‘Suniye sabki, kariye maan ki’ which translates to ‘listen to everyone, but do what your heart and mind tell you’.
Don’t worry about the future – it’s just in your imagination
No human can control their future. Being a Capricorn, I tend to plan a lot. Checklists and to do’s. So many worries! My mom used to say, ‘worries are like interest paid on a loan not yet taken!’ When I find myself worrying about the future, I try to catch myself and enjoy the present moment.
Don’t worry about the past – it’s just in your memories
No human can change their past either! The past is just a memory in our head of our experiences. The present moment is the only life we have!
Be Kind – to yourself and others – in that order
So often I am so intent on getting the next thing accomplished that I push myself, and perhaps unknowingly, push others around me too. I need to learn to slow down, be kind to myself, take deep breaths, lots of Yoga, positive self-talk, and take long walks!
And when in doubt, just hug your furry friends.
Happy New Year!
Namaste
Abhi Khune
Abhiram Ganesh Khune
Musings by Abhi Khune 